we don't talk anymore (lolly)

"we don't talk anymore"

i have a bad feeling. a feeling that everything i might say, could ruin everything. and that is not what i want. not at all. but i love her and i can't help it. she's my soulmate, the woman of my dreams. and she's pregnant. i'm the father. we can't just do nothing about that. "don't say it. not now. can we just, you know, take it slow. i still care about you and it's the same for you. can we be adult, take it slow, you know? i miss you so much, but i'm scared to ruin everything if i kiss you right there -cause that's what i want to, damn- sorry about that. you know, pregnancy makes my hormones... well. anyway." she says. she's still funny. hasn't change at all. so, she wants to give us a chance. take our time, acting like grown ups. "take it slow. yeah, sure. it's going to be hard, but i can do that. so, you want us to be friends or?" i ask. i know it's going to be really hard. being with her, but no hugging, no kissing... but if it can save our relationship, i'll do it.

"we don't talk anymore"

it's weird, so weird. but it feels good. to see that he's with me. no matter what. even if we're not together, even if we broke up, he still cares about me. about us, now. cause i have a baby in my belly. i went to the gynecologist last week and the doctor said i was at my tenth week. we still have time to figure it all. "take it slow. yeah, sure. it's going to be hard, but i can do that. so, you want us to be friends or?" he asks. his question makes me laugh. i don't know what else to say than "hum, well, we can be friends, but it might be hard... you know. we could also start again. our story. us. a new us." i suggest. it's an option, a suggestion. "we have seven month ahead of us. and we should start soon cause in a few weeks, i'll be fat."

"we don't talk anymore"

we have to figure it out. decide what's going to happen next. it's not a secret for anyone, i still love her. and she's in love with me. i remember the last few weeks. how broken i was. being alone, feeling alone. on my own. feeling hopeless. telling myself how much i ruined everything. "hum, well, we can be friends, but it might be hard... you know. we could also start again. our story. us. a new us." she has a good idea. she always does, actually. it's not a surprise. she's the bright one, the smart one. "why not? we could try." i add. i'm glad we took some decision about all of this. "we have seven month ahead of us. and we should start soon cause in a few weeks, i'll be fat." seven months... so she's like two months pregnant. wow, okay. "you'll still be beautiful, you know that?"

"we don't talk anymore"

why not? we could try. great, i'm glad we agreed on this. "perfect, so it's a deal." then, out of nowhere, when i tell him i'll be fat and ugly, he says : "you'll still be beautiful, you know that?" he hasn't changed at all. always there to make me feel beautiful, confident. no matter what. "still making me blush, heh? listen, i have to go back to work, hum call me sometime, alright?" i smile, and even if i'd want to kiss him goodbye, like i used to do when we were together.